yet again a new xanga...please deal. and sub to me

http://www.xanga.com/NotSoxDifferent

My days have been pretty boring.
Since everyone is in school during the day, there really isnt anything to do but sit around and watch TV. It'll be alright though. i'll keep myself occupied by writing and reading my book.

I already miss everyone back home. Seems pretty pathetic that ive only been away for like, 5 days. *sigh*.

Ive been thinking about calling him, but maybe i shouldnt. It could just be better to spend some time completely away from him, that way when i go back maybe he'll really have missed me. lol. But thats not really the whole point...i know i kept saying that i didnt want to be in a relationship right now, but i think i do. And if he isnt ready for one, then i dont want to get myself anymore attached just to take the chance of being let down, and having my heart broken once again. But i really like being around him, and just having what we have going. I just dont want him to find someone else, who he would want to be in a relationship with, and then just throwing me away. *argh* things are complicating, and confusing. But, i know that it will all pass, and chances are my feelings for him will change, they usually do. Im to young to be in love, and to young to even think about settling down. haha...thats a funny thought. But yeah...

my 'party' that i was planning for when i get back..i dont know what im going to be doing with that. I think i want to just have my friends and family over at my house, and have a little get together...not a party like i was planning on. That way i can have Kris, Amber, my mom and Michael and everyone ya know? I think that may be a better plan. But then maybe i can still have my party, for all of my friends who were looking forward to it. lol.

Im out for now though, not much else to say.

<3 <3 <3 you all.

WOULD YOU RATHER:
1) pierce your nose or tongue?: nose, cuz i already have my tounge done
2) be serious or be funny?: funny
3) drink whole or skim milk?: skim

ARE YOU:
4) simple or complicated?: i think im usually complicated

DO YOU PREFER:
5) flowers or angels?: angels
6) grey or gray?: grey
7) boys or girls?: guys, but girls for friends
9) sunrise or sunset?: sunsets
10) M&Ms or Skittles?: skittles
11) rap or rock?: rock
12) staying up late or waking up early? staying up late
13) TV or radio?: radio
14) eating apples or oranges?: apples
THE TRUTH:
15) Do you have a crush?: yeah
16) Who is it? erm..you know

DO YOU PREFER:
17) being hot or cold? cold
18) tall or short people? tall, that way i feel short for once
19) sun or moon?: moon, cuz night time is so much better then the day time
20) emeralds or rubies?: rubies
21) left or right? right
22) having 10 acquaintances or 1 best friend? 1 best friend
23) sun or rain?: rain
24) vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? vanilla
25) What is your biggest fear [s] in the world? being alone
26) Kids or no kids?: kids
27) Cat or dog? cat
28) Half empty or half full?: half full 
29) Mustard or ketchup?: ketchup
30) Hard cover books or soft cover books? um. either or i guess 
31) newspaper or magazines?: magazines
32) Sandals or trainers: what are trainers? i love flip-flops tho
3) Wonder or amazement?: amazement
34) Red car or white car?: red
35) Happy and poor or sad and rich?: happy and poor..no doubt
36) Singing or dancing?: singing
37) Hugging or kissing? Oooo. tough. both with 'him'
38) Happy or sad?: happy..derh
39) Blondes or brunettes?: brunettes

ABOUT YOU:
What time is it?: 10:16pm
Nicknames: britt, rainbow warrior*ha*
Eye color? brown
hair color? brown with blonde highlights

WHAT DO YOU WANT:
Where do you want to live? i dont know
How many kids do you want? atleast 1
Do you want to get married?: yeah

WHICH IS BETTER:
2 doors or 4 (on a car)?: 4
Coffee or ice cream?: coffee
Shampoo or conditioner?: both..you cant have one without the..other
Bridges or tunnels?: tunnels
One pillow or two?: 2

FAVORITES:
Salad dressing?: emm. ranch. maybe. idk
Color of socks?: white
Non-alcoholic drink?: diet pepsi
Alcohlic? smirnoff ice.lol

I AM:
Wearing?: my fav jeans (the holey ones), long sleeve white shirt, and my pink hoodie
Current Favorite show(s): i try not to watch TV i really dont like it much
Current Book: Sybil
Current Refreshment: nothing
Current time: 10:19pm

LAST PERSON YOU:
Hugged: kyle.
Called: um. steph i think..maybe jess
Called you: jackie
Thought about: kyle..since i just typed his name. but then..all my friends and fam back home.
kissed: 'him' *heehee*
when: wednesday night..thursday morning at like 4am. hah 

okay.

sorry i havent updated everyone. but i am here and im safe. i'll call everyone tonight and talk to you guys. i really miss you all. *tear*

my trip up here was awesome, im excited about going back just to have to bus ride. lol. it was fun and exciting..being on my own like that, taking care of myself (well sort of. lol) it was just...thrilling.

so yeah. its cool here. its really different from last time i was here, but i think thats just because of school and everything. these darn kids and being in school...whats wrong with them!? but yeah..idk some things are just starting to get to me a little bit, and making me question my decisions. i just want everyone to be happy ya know? but i know its not going to be that way. i'd like to be happy too...but i can stand not being compeltely happy, when everyone else is happy im okay. thats just me.

church was awesome yesterday. i really didnt want to go, i didnt feel good but im glad i did.

so yeah. i think im gonna go. i love you all so much. *hugs & kisses* to my homies.

So, once again i over reacted.

He called me last night, and came over.
Nicole stayed...but she went to sleep early so i didnt get to spend much time with her last night..
Me and him watched movies and did our own little thing. *hee* i so love his truck..what a life saver. lmao
I thought Nicole was gonna beat the shit out of me, for waking her up so much last night "hey nicole, go sleep on the couch, its comfortable"
Anyways! Yeah..im really glad that i got to see him before i left. I asked him if what we had was all he wanted and he said that right now..yeah thats all he wanted, which is cool cuz i like what we have.
I still dont have any of my stuff ready for OH, staying over night in PA is gonna be a bitch. im so scared. but i guess i'll have to be okay right?

okay, i'll talk to everyone later. wish me luck!